So I have asked a couple of people to read my latest draft to the Dragon Glider and give me their honest opinion.
This one is from Cloey. Besides my grammar it was a pretty good review and hope that I will be able to find more reviews like the one she gave me. It pin point to things and chapters in my novel I need to change and is more or less on the same page and John and Mike.
Here is what she wrote:
I really loved your book. You are a very good story teller and this book is a good start but also has the potential of being a great start to your series. You did a good job writing for your market too - bravo.
Now a little about me, when I read I like to keep an open mind and allow the author along with my imagination to guide me through the story. I don't try to figure out the plot until it is necessary nor do I jump forward to see what's going to happen. With that said, I allowed you to bring me into your story world, get to know the characters, and come along with them as they lived through the story. I find that while reading from this point of view it allows me to get past grammatical and sentence structural issues so that I may enjoy the story.
The area that gave me the most problem was the beginning because I had to re-read it several times before I understood where your where going with the story – you may want to take another look at it. I could not figure out who was talking I assume it was one of the children but hopefully not Elaina because then I may have an issue with the time line – LOL. You did an excellent job developing the characters but I think that maybe you should spend some time on Elaina. I still do not know her and find it difficult believing in her. Maybe tell us a bit about her life in the orphanage or her last school on the other side of the wall? I also would like to know more about the story world maybe just teach us a little more about it? I noticed that in most series first novels there is a lot of investment in character and world building - just something to think about - especially if you are going for epic. I think that you may have spent a large amount of time on the day to day life in the school - maybe cut it a bit short and add more action in other areas of the book. Maybe when giving us some background information on Elaina give us some action to keep us motivated for more while letting us get to know her personality. The story flowed well and your scene transition is very good - the story was easy to follow. overall you are a very good writer and did a good job with your story. I would like to read your polished version before it goes public to see the changes made by your editor and to also write a review if you like.
I will definitely ask her to review my published copy which will hopefully be soon.
Thank you Cloey and can't wait for the reviews to be done so that I can revise.