31 Jan 2014

Once in a Blue Moon by Ken Christopher Ping

Title: Once in a Blue Moon
Author: Ken Christopher Ping
Kindle Edition
Published: May 27th 2013
ASIN: B00D1FELF6
Language: English
Genre: Short stories

Three short stories: Of Sand and Castles, The Mother's Day Gift and the title story, an enchanting fairytale, Once in a Blue Moon.


My Thoughts!!!

I got a free copy from Mr Ping for my honest review. Now I'm not someone that loves Short stories but I'm open to them once in a while. 
I have to say, I thought Mr. Ping had a really well grip on short stories. You can tell he has written them before and that he chooses his words and scenes perfectly.
The first stories follows two twin boys born in a very wealthy family. The father off course want them to become war heroes, etc. The younger of the twins didn't obey, his heart was kind and had a love for music and arts.


The older of the twins, Alex, was everything his father wanted, but was Alex happy at the end?
I have to admit, I didn't get the message of this short story as strongly as I got the other two.
The second story is called: A mother gift.
I actually cried in this one, especially in the end. It's about a little boy Timmy that discovered he was adopted. Not knowing what it meant he asked his mother. It basically ruined mother's day for him, but Mr. Ping once again finished it beautiful. Like I said, I actually cried in this one.

The third and last, Once in a Blue moon is the story behind the saying. It's filled with Greek mythology and the rainbow was actually a goddess in this one too. It has a beautiful message and again I absolutely adored the ending.
I wish Mr. Ping absolutely success and I recommend this to everyone, even if you don't have a love for short stories.
These three are definitely a must read!!!


23 Jan 2014

Reviews are now open





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22 Jan 2014

The Rose of Cavendish by Lea Cherry


Title: The Rose of Cavendish
Author: Lea Cherry
Series: Cavendish Series
Genre: YA / Fantasy
Publisher: Xlibris
Release Date: Oct 26 2011
Edition/Formats Available In: eBook & Print
Blurb/Synopsis:
Anna-Belle, the Princess of Fae’s life was put into danger by the Empress' right hand man so she escaped the hold the guards and the palace had on her to save her life. That was when she came across Landon, who helped her escape and taught her a few things. She also met Keira, the shadow that Landon couldn’t get rid of, who had an instant dislike in Anna-Belle but tagged along when they fell off a cliff into the Elven Kingdom.
            In the Elven Kingdom, Anna-Belle met Aranhil, the prince of elves and also her love interest in the story. It was there that she and her friends learned about a prophecy that Anna-Belle is the Chosen One and the only one who could find the Enchantress, who is needed to stop the darkness that is threatening her world. The only way to find the Enchantress was to travel towards the darkness to find an enchanted rose that can grant any wish that is pure of heart.
            On this journey, Anna-Belle learns to harness her powers, finds an unlikely friendship and starts to fall in love. But it is also on this journey that the darkness threatens to unfold everything they have worked for. Anna-Belle gains strength, courage and friends, but loses a lot more when she finds The Rose of Cavendish.


Book Links


Author Information


 Born and raised in South Africa, Lea lived a fantasy life. She studied interior design after school but dreamt that there was more that she could do. After being given an idea and challenged to write, she set off writing her first novel. She continues to write when she has a chance and when she’s not writing or playing wife and mother, she enjoys painting and drawing and dreams up more stories to write. Her first novel is The Rose of Cavendish, book 1 in the Cavendish series, but assures that there are many more to come.



Author Links


Excerpt


The dreams came and they were not pleasant at all. It was our world, consumed by
darkness. Everywhere I looked the fae were fighting. Fires consumed everything, the trees where
the Napaeas called home, the mountains the dwarves inhabited, the castle the Elves lived where
empty and trashed. The sun, which use to be so radiant and bright, was dark and cold. Our realm
has turned into a permanent night full of darkness and evil. This is not the world I knew. Where
did everyone go? What happened? I walked for a while, stepping around the rubble tossed on the
ground when I saw Aranhil having a fist fight with a Napaea.
“Aranhil! What are you doing? This is not who you are? What has gotten into you?” I
moved closer and touched his arm. He immediately turned around and I could see his beautiful
face has turned into a permanent snarl of anger and hate and his gorgeous eyes were no more.
They have been replaced by the dark red eyes I saw on Gadrin. This cannot be happening!
Backing away I saw him following me. Pulling his sword out and walking with it at his side. He
raised it up, ready to attack.
“Aranhil please! Don’t do this!” Begging seemed to be the only option, but it didn’t help.
I backed against someone and as I turned to see who it was, my arms were caught by someone
else’s hands and I was spun around. Landon was on my one side while Keira was on the other
holding me in place so that I couldn’t move. I knew that little bitch didn’t like me but this is way
too surreal even for her.
“Guys, please. Let me go! What’s going on here? HELP! Somebody please help me!” I
yelled but no one seem to hear or if they did, they obviously didn’t care. Aranhil moved closer,
sword ready.
“It’s because of you that this has happened.” Aranhil said as he stopped a few feet away.
“Me? Why me?”
“You didn’t have the courage or the power to do what you were supposed to do and now the
darkness has taken over. It’s all your fault and now you must pay.” his eyes started to glow like
the gems on an evil statue. I tried to break free but Landon and Keira’s grip was too strong. The
closer Aranhil came the more I struggled and screamed. No one cared and I was sure to die at the
hand of the man who claimed to love me. What is this world coming to? He lifted his sword, the
metal from the sword glowed with the reflection of the fire that surrounded us, and with one fast,
elegant movement he brought it down and just as it was about to kill me

GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Good day,

I'm in search of bloggers to participate in my upcoming tour in April/May for Firebolt, The first part of the Dragonian Series.
I will attach the media kit too for you to see what my novel is about.
I'm mainly looking for Reviews but I'll never pass if you can do only a spotlight or guest post.
If you are interested in participating please send me your URL of your blog, possible dates in April/May you can participate and what type of post you can host. If a review please send me your preferred copy.

I thank you in advance, and please note that I do return favors so if you needed one, let me know and I'll always squeeze you in.

Thank you so much and I hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Adrienne Woods


Title: Firebolt
Author: Adrienne Woods
Series: The Dragonian Series
Publisher: GMTA Publishing Mythos Press
Release Date: Nov 20 2013

Blurb/Synopsis:
Back blurb:
Dragons. Right. Teenage girls don't believe in fairy tales, and sixteen-year-old Elena Watkins was no different.
Until the night a fairy tale killed her father.
Now Elena is in a new world, and a new school. The cutest guy around may be an evil dragon, a prince wants Elena's heart, and a long dead sorcerer may be waking up to kill her. Oh and the only way Elena's going to graduate is on the back of a dragon of her own.
Teenage girls don't believe in fairy tales. Now it's time for Elena to believe in...herself.

Synopsis:
For the love of blueberries, Elena Watkins was destined for greatness, even though she didn’t know it. Forced to travel from home to home every three months Elena’s life was a never ending blur of new towns and new faces, that is, until the night her father was killed by a creature she thought only existed in fairy tales – a dragon. With her father’s death leaving her orphaned, Elena is whisked away to her true birthplace, Paegeia.
Arriving at Dragonia Academy, the premier school for young Dragonians, she begins to feel a sense of belonging in this strange world; a school she was never meant to attend because her father was a dragon. Elena is soon swept up in the rigor of her new life and the new set of skills she now needs to survive: Latin, Art of War, and Enchantments.
Entranced by her new reality Elena learns about the dragons and humans who inhabit her new home. There are two classes of dragons that soar through Paegeia distinguished by their instinctual pretense for either good or darkness. The distinction between these two very different species is vital to Elena’s success in her new world because she has been marked as a Dragonian, a human preordained to ride and tame a dragon of her very own.
With the help of her new friends, Elena is able to navigate the complexities of her new home. Her new roommates Becky and Sammy are even more amazing then she could have ever imaged and to top it all off, Sammy was a dragon. Sammy’s is also the devoted sister of Blake, the most attractive boy at school and the Rubicon; the only dragon of his kind with the abilities of all the dragon species with a pretense for evil. Elena soon finds the love she always wanted with Lucian, the Prince of Tith, who actively pursues Elena throughout her time at Dragonia Academy, winning her heart with his absolute adoration and unshaken dedication.
Unbeknownst to Elena danger is lurking behind the enchanted vines concealing the once thriving capital of Paegeia – Etan. Goran, the darkest sorcerer to ever practice his evil arts in the realm, has lain dormant for over a century behind the crumbling city. The first step in his menacing plan is to destroy the only weapon that can kill him – the King of Lion Sword.
When the sword is stolen Elena doesn’t think twice about seeking it; knowing deep down that it is her destiny to save her new home. She travels to the Sacred Cavern, and discovers the nefarious actions of an unknown man lead to the swords destruction as she follows the trail revealed in the prophetic waters of the cavern.
Elena and her friends engage the mysterious man revealing their existence to Goran and fighting for their very lives.

Author Info

I was born and raised in South Africa, where I still live with my husband, and two beautiful little girls. I always knew that I was going to be a writer but it only started to happen about four years ago, now I can’t stop writing.

In my free time, If I get any because Moms don’t really have free time, I love to spend time with friends, if it’s a girls night out, or just a movie, I’m a very chilled person.

My writing career is starting with Firebolt, book one with the Dragonian Series, there will be four books in total and two to three books that is about the stories taking place inside The Dragonian Series.

I do write in different Genres, I have a woman’s fiction called the Pregnancy Diaries, but it would be published under another name. And then I have a paranormal series, called the Watercress series. There are about ten novels in that one.

So, plenty of novels to come out, so little time.

I hope you are going to embrace the Dragonian Series as much as I loved writing them.

Kind Wishes,

Adrienne Woods

Author Links


Excerpt
A girl singing her heart out about a miracle boomed inside my ear. A miracle would get me what I needed: a chance at a semi-normal life.
The bedroom door hitting the wall expelled the thought from my mind. With his hand tangled up in his copper hair and with huge brown eyes, Dad's figure filled the entire doorway. “Pack your bags.” He had that set to his jaw, the one that meant there was no way out of this. He bolted out of the room just as suddenly as he had appeared.
My teeth ground hard against each other, and the sharp pain behind my eyes, I guessed from the lack of sleep, grew stronger. Every fiber of my being wanted to explode.
Ever since I could remember my name, Dad and I had been on the run. From what? Beats me.
For the last two weeks, I'd been pacing up and down through the house, struggling to fall asleep at night, waiting for this day.
For the love of blueberries, no sixteen-year old should live this way!
I climbed off my bed, and the first step I took left my toe tangled in the wide leg of my jeans. I tried to regain my balance as the closet inched closer, but with wildly flailing arms, I came crashing down. The thud reverberated across the wooden floor, and it sounded as if I'd broken something.
Dad darted back into my room. “Are you okay?” He lifted me back onto my feet as if I weighed nothing.
Tears lurked in the corners of my eyes, threatening to burst, as I stared up at him.
“Don't give me that look, Elena. Please, we need to hurry.” He pulled my suitcase from the top shelf and chucked it haphazardly onto my bed. “We need to go. Now.”
“Dad…”
He started to grab my clothes from the shelf and tossed them messily inside my small suitcase. Then he paused, sighed, and looked up with soft eyes. He stroked the side of my cheek with his hand gently. “This wasn't the right place, Bear. Please, you’ve got to trust me.”
His hand reached back to pull everything off my shelf, while my hands curled up into balls of fury. My heart pounded fast as those two words bounced inside my skull. “Trust you, Dad?”
“Elena, we don't have much time,” he yelled. “Pack your bags! You can ask questions later.” He left, and the hollow “doof” sound from his stomping footsteps rang loudly as he made his way into the hall.
Ask questions? Yeah right! I’ll only get answers that don’t reveal why we are on the run for the gazillionth time. “Trust me” and “I'll tell you when the time is right” were the only two answers Dad gave. Guess the time with him will never be right.
It was no use arguing with him anyway. Once, he threw me over his shoulder and carried me out without any of my things.
So I grabbed the stuff I needed: my mp3 player, a photo of Mom that Dad didn't know I had, and my journal from underneath my bed. I tossed them into my backpack. It wasn't much, but it was the stuff that made my miserable life feel less pathetic. I zipped up my suitcase and took a deep breath. Looking around my bedroom for the last time, I said goodbye to my sixtieth-something room.
Dad almost ran me over in the hall with his army bag slung over his shoulder. He grumbled, which I assumed was an apology, took my suitcase, and ran down the stairs. He always rented these huge old houses, pre-furnished and near the countryside, and we always left after three months.
The pickup's horn honked as I shut the front door. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. Just two more years, then I'll be eighteen and free from this freak show. Huge raindrops fell hard onto the ground. The smell of wet dirt filled the air. It was my favorite smell.
The water that pooled on the ground covered all the gaps in the driveway, forcing me to hopscotch around all of them. My shoe got caught in one of the gaps and I smacked down hard in a huge puddle. By the time I reached the truck, my jeans and shoes dripped with water.
Warm heat from the vents inside the truck hit me full blast as I jumped in; a million goose pimples erupted across my skin.  As soon as I shut the rusty door, Dad floored the gas pedal. Tires screeched and the truck spun away as if the Devil was chasing us.  My lower lip quivered softly as he swerved onto the road. The streetlights flew by in a blur, and I plugged in my earphones. The same stupid song about a miracle boomed from my mp3, drowning the sound of the engine and the hard dribbles on the roof, a percussion that became the perpetual soundtrack to my misery.
A feeling of utter loneliness consumed my heart while I stared out the window. Homes with white picket fences and a convenience store whizzed by in a flash. A tear rolled down my cheek. Saying a silent goodbye, releasing my breath created a foggy condensation on the glass. Reaching out with my index finger, I drew a small heart. These were the reasons why Mom had left. She couldn't handle his paranoia, but why she’d left her two year old daughter to deal with it was a mystery. Dad constantly reminded me of the latter; that was the only time he ever spoke of her. If he ever discovered I had that picture, he would kill me. That was how much he hated her for leaving us.
The lights of a vehicle in the upcoming lane shone directly into my face. I shut my eyes, waiting for it to disappear. When I was little, I used to watch Dad as we drove away from yet another house. He would glare into his rearview mirror every five seconds, every muscle in his face clenched, and his knuckles white on the steering wheel. I hadn’t been able to force myself to peek out the window then, as it used to scare the living crap out of me to consider the possible reasons why he was fleeing, or who might be following us. Now, I didn't look at him or care much about what he was going through. He created this problem. With me becoming the luggage. It was a ritual I endured every three months, and nothing over the past sixteen years had ever changed that.
The “Interstate 40” sign flew by in a whirl, and the pickup slowly moved onto the turnoff lane.
My eyes started to burn as I stared at the rain running down my window. Each rivet resembled another town, another place I could never again call home. Exhaustion consumed me and my eyelids felt heavy. I laid my head against the window and struggled to stay awake.
Suddenly, a huge figure flew past me. Dad swerved to the left, which made me crash into his side. My entire body pumped with adrenaline. I jumped straight in my seat and wrenched the seatbelt over my shoulder to buckle myself in. I tore out my earphones as I tried to process what had just happened.
“What was that?” I looked at Dad.
He kept gazing every five seconds in his rearview mirror with huge eyes. Beads of sweat rolled from his hairline down to the side of his temple. He was terrified, something that conflicted with his personality. I’d never seen Dad look that scared in my entire life.
“Dad!”
“Did you see where it went?” he asked, attempting to inject calm into his voice, but I could hear the fear lacing each syllable.
“See where what went? Dad what was that!”
“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”
“For once in your life, just tell me!” I screamed. Sixteen years of frustration exploded from my lungs. I couldn't take the unknown anymore.
“Fine.” He mumbled something else that I didn't catch. “Do you remember the stories I used to tell you?”
“Stories? What stories?”
“The ones about Paegeia, Elena.” He looked in his rearview mirror again with huge, unblinking eyes.
Vaguely, but I didn't tell him that. “What does that have to do with this?”
“They're real.”
I froze and stared at him.
“All of it, it’s real. The dragons, the magic, the wall, everything is real.”
“Dad, dragons...” I took a deep breath. Dragons didn't exist, but then the image of the huge thing that had flown past me a couple of seconds ago sprang into my head. “You mean that thing was a dragon?”
He nodded, and looked over his shoulder.
A figure with huge paws and talons flew in front of the truck. Tires screeched at the same time I shrieked. The truck spun around on the turf a couple of times and came to a standstill on the dark stretch of road. My heart jumped at a great speed inside my chest. My throat and lips became dry.
Pushing my face against the cool glass of the passenger window, I searched the horizon for any sign of life. Apart from the pickup’s headlights, there wasn’t a single light peeking through the blanketed darkness, and the rain crushing down made me see figures I didn’t know were real or imagined. Dragons don’t exist.
“You okay?” my father yelled.
“I'm fine.” I tore my eyes away from the window.
“Elena, I need to get out─”
“No, no, please don't leave me here!” I could feel the fear beginning to rise up again and my vision became blurry. Why am I afraid? Dragons aren’t real.
He cupped my face and made me look at him, his hands trembling. “Listen to me, Elena. Listen!”
I tried to swallow my tears, but it was no use. They were caught in the back of my throat, silencing me as he said his goodbye.
He hugged me tight and kissed me on my forehead. I could feel the love he had for me behind that kiss.
“You drive like hell, you hear me? Don't slow down for anybody. There's a motel on Interstate 40. Just stay on this road, you can't miss it. Someone named Matt will meet you there.”
“For the love of blueberries Dad, it's pouring dogs and horses outside. I can't leave you here with whatever...” We can rationally sort this out.
Dad cringed and looked down for a minute. When he looked at me again, that set to his jaw was back. I knew my words hadn’t made an impact on him whatsoever. He had already made up his mind for the both of us.
My strength returned as I slowly came to terms with what I had to do.
A man appeared in the middle of the road. The rain made it hard for me to see him, but the headlights of the truck outlined his figure. I squinted to see him clearer. He was tall with long black hair; wet strands clung to his face. He wore a pair of pants, no T-shirt, and it looked like no shoes either. He stared at the pickup for a couple of minutes, and it made my heart pound faster. He began to walk slowly toward us.
“Daaaaad?” I slapped his shoulder, trying to expel the fear from my body.



14 Jul 2012

The Last review of John and Mike

Hi Isa


We have finished your book, I think you got something you can be proud of, we had a last discussion about your book, so it comes here:


01[18:09] <John> Did you like the glider story?
[18:09] <Mike> i spose some sadists would like doing it
[18:09] <Mike> yes , it got better :)
01[18:10] <John> I thought the last 33% was very good
[18:10] <Mike> there was less of the girly chatter , and more action :)
01[18:10] <John> Yes there was
[18:10] <Mike> and it did end reasonable
01[18:11] <John> Yes no cliffhangers :)
[18:11] <Mike> just the hint of more to come - which is good :)
[18:11] <Mike> though it still isnt aimed at me :)
01[18:12]  <John>  did the book make you want to read the next?
[18:13] <Mike> well for curiosity
[18:13] <Mike> but it would if i was a young teenage girl :)
01[18:13]  <John>  Yes I think it is good for teenagers
01[18:13]  <John>  is there anything that bothered you about the last part we read?
[18:14] <Mike> and the english was improved , though i seemed to get used to it the last third
[18:14] <Mike> nothing immediate comes to mind
01[18:15]  <John>  I didnt think there was anything boring about the end part
[18:15] <Mike> it was a nice twist that the king of lions was a few things
01[18:15]  <John>  I was curious to see how it would end, I think it was a good ending
[18:16] <Mike> and i liked that their perfectly? :) formed plans came to nought , but they succeeded anyway
01[18:16]  <John>  Yes it is good with twists
[18:16] <Mike> oh - i remember what i didnt like
01[18:16]  <John>  Thats good too it wasnt too easy
[18:16] <Mike> everything finished where she got stabbed
[18:17] <Mike> we didnt find out the rest till all - but brian - were safe
[18:17] <Mike> it would have been better if the story continued at the point where she got stabbed , even if she was out of it
01[18:18] <John>  I didnt think about that, but that might have been more catching for the reader
01[18:19]  <John>  also to feel sad about Brian dying and that if they had it described in their mental movie
[18:20] <Mike> i didnt feel a lot sad about brian dying - he wasnt a main character
01[18:21]  <John>  no he wasnt
01[18:21]  <John>  so did you like the quests that Elaina had to go though?
[18:22] <Mike> too many were just riddles i thought
01[18:22]  <John>  Yes they were riddles but I think that was fine
[18:23] <Mike> i did get the nothing one :) - i probably heard it before
01[18:23]  <John>  it is like having a mini riddle book after reading the book I think
01[18:26]  <John>  I think it was a good love story too
[18:27] <Mike> yes , but as i think you mentioned before - there may be a love triangle/quadrangle even :)
[18:27] <Mike> she gets hot over blake too :)
01[18:27]  <John>  I think so but that will ahve to be for next book
[18:27] <Mike> i think she will prabably claim blake
01[18:28]  <John>  Yes I think so too
[18:28] <Mike> and she is probably a long lost daughter of royalty
01[18:28] <John>  Yes thats the guess :)
[18:28] <Mike> a descendant of katherine :)
01[18:29]  <John>  she even knows how to handle the same weapon as Katherine and she was asked during the quests if she had been there before so it is getting obvious
[18:30] <Mike> yes , and the cavern quest
[18:31] <Mike> i dont think i would like double axes as a main weapon
[18:31] <Mike> the throwing bit would be okay , but not if you only had two axes :)
01[18:32]  <John>  well it is a good way to make her speciel
[18:32] <Mike> and nearly fearless - she has to get real close :)
01[18:32]  <John>  that too
[18:33] <Mike> i would prefer a longer reach arm - preferably a high power sniper rifle :)
[18:33] <Mike> or at least bow and arrows like katniss
[18:34] <Mike> i used to be good with a spear - even before any arms training - from when little when i went bush
01[18:34]  <John>  that is safer
[18:34] <Mike> but with a spear anyone can dodge
01[18:35]  <John>  they can?
[18:35] <Mike> and there are better close up weapons than a spear
01[18:35]  <John>  How will you rate the story?
[18:35] <Mike> maybe not in the midst ove a big battle , but one on one you can see the spear coming
[18:36] <Mike> i have to give it seperate ratings
[18:36] <Mike> do i count the spelling/grammar ?
[18:36] <Mike> no , i wont
01[18:36]  <John>  no leave that out of it
[18:37] <Mike> but for a young girl i say a good 8 1/2
[18:37] <Mike> but for me just a 7
[18:37] <Mike> and only because the last 1/3 was better
01[18:38]  <John>  I give it 7 too but I think it can easily be improved with some changes to 8
[18:38] <Mike> yes
[18:39] <Mike> you arnt exactly the demographic for the story either :)
01[18:39]  <John>  no I am not a teenager anymore
[18:39] <Mike> but you are a lot closer than me :)
01[18:39]  <John>  although I like a lot of young adult books
[18:40] <Mike> yes , and as i keep saying - they dont seem young adult to me :)
[18:40] <Mike> oh - i did notice in gliders there was an actual 'f' word :)
01[18:40]  <John>  maybe if she lets Elaina grow up with the next books then it can get more older young adult
01[18:41]  <John>  like J.K. Rowling did with Harry Potter
[18:41] <Mike> that would be good - as long as each book finishes
01[18:41]  <John>  Yes you dont like cliffhangers :)
[18:41] <Mike> no - often its crass comercialism

6 Apr 2012

ANOTHER JOHN AND MIKE REVIEW: 67% Done


‪Hi Isa
We had another discussion about your manuscript this weekend, we were wondering what your native language is just out of curiosity?
The discussion ends with mike's weapon practicing experiences, I kept it there because you might find it interesting to read.

01[16:32] Did you like what we read for today in the dragon manuscript?
[16:33] well some was good and i got excited - but then it went back to a bit boring

01[16:34] Yes it got better
[16:34] i thought the museum started good , but so many details descriptions with nothing happening

[16:34] guess what bit i found best :)

01[16:34] Yes I thought the museum trip a little too long too
01[16:35] what was that?
 [16:35] action bit of course :)

 [16:36] it was when she found she was good with the two axes :)

01[16:36] oh yes that's a good part
01[16:37] I like we are seeing some development with Elaina though the story
 [16:37] i bet she is a progeny of the old queen catherine

01[16:37] Yes I think so too
[16:37] progeny means offspring

[16:38] oh , you already knew :)

01[16:38] I guessed it :)
[16:38] and i bet she has something to do with blake

[16:39] but i hope she gets together with lucien

01[16:39] Yes I think so too she probably ends up claiming her
01[16:39] Yes Lucian is good to her
[16:40] kept in practicing :)

01[16:40] I thought that the tutoring parts being repeated was being too trivial
[16:40] there were a lot of bits that went into too many details

01[16:40] like arianne, cheng, lucian, blake and then repeated
[16:41] and it was bad grammar

01[16:41] There was some thrilling things in the beginning with Arianna putting that spell on Alaina
[16:41] but i can imagine that the ideas and thoughts and even the details would excite young girls

[16:42] i wonder if she would have killed her ?

[16:42] no - she would have been expelled

[16:42] and of course she wants lucian :)

01[16:43] Yes I think she would have cancelled the spell after Elaina suffered a bit
[16:43] i must admit - when it comes to the young girls conversations i did tend to skim a bit :)

[16:44] but i can imagine its what young girls would talk about

[16:44] and a couple of words were waaay out

01[16:44] what do you mean?
[16:44] they may be english , but not used in that capacity

[16:45] like 'chant'

01[16:45] Yes I noticed that too
[16:45] a chant is like a repeated word or sentence - often religious

[16:45] or for sports :)

01[16:45] she uses it like we would use says
[16:46] yes

[16:46] there was another word like that - sulk was used often

01[16:46] yes
[16:47] sulk means ummm kind of depressed or down thingy

 [16:48] it means she wouldn't speak to them and be down

01[16:48] yes
01[16:50] if you had the power to make some changes in the manuscript to make it better what things would you change?
[16:51] the words only

01[16:51] I mean in the story itself
[16:51] i think some of the complex details might be interesting to some

[16:51] and i think that young girls might like it

01[16:52] Well we only know what we like, what others might like we cant know
[16:52] if young girls like complex details - though maybe not too complex , just there are a lot of details

01[16:53] Yes I think it should be simpler with more action is that what you are saying too?
[16:53] i did like the section of the battle practice - but then she kept it secret - everything is kept secret

[16:53] i didn't like that

[16:53] and it got back to boring young girl stuff again :)

01[16:54] the things with Lucian is actually very good
[16:54] yes - im not sure what young girls like about detail , but i do think more action - we are 2/3 through book and not a lot except learning has happened

01[16:54] there is some feelings in it and she had made the reader interested in Lucian and wants to know how it will work out between them
[16:55] i do like how elaina doesn't like certain school subjects - i can relate :)

01[16:55] my favorite part is actually the horseback riding with Lucian it got some pulse and I could really feel Elaina in that part
[16:55] but she does seem to go on a bit and cry a lot

01[16:56] Yes she does cry a lot
01[16:56] but I think that's fine
[16:56] the horsey bit :) - i thought they would more admit their feelings during that , but no

[16:57] yes , crying is okay - just she seems to be doing a lot of not liking it and hiding tears

01[16:58] You are right but she is going though some changes on that school
01[16:58] and not everyone is nice to her
[16:58] no , but more are than her old life

01[16:59] Yes that right too she did get some friends
[16:59] the actual story has so many good features - but a lot are lost on me because i am the wrong demographic

[17:00] i did get past the atrocious english

01[17:00] I did think we saw some more good stuff in what we read for this week
[17:00] my missus asked what I am  reading now , and i said dragon gliders - for young girls :)

 [17:01] she said she thought i would be reading porn :)

01[17:01] Haha did you tell her I forced you to read it?
[17:01] no - because i volunteered :)

01[17:02] Yes you did
01[17:02] and it is not a bad book so far just unpolished
[17:02] there are so many good bits - like i can really imagine certain conversations

[17:02] just to me they are boring

01[17:03] I might like them more
[17:03] and the ideas about so many kinds of dragons

01[17:03] it does take some imagination
 [17:04] the author does need a good translator and proof reader

01[17:04] yes of cause
01[17:05] if she wanted to interest someone like you that love dragon stories but are a little older, how would she have to change it?
[17:05] but some of the phrases she comes out with i have heard - they are common slang - it seems funny she does that , but confuses standard sentences

[17:06] she couldn't i think - it shows it is aimed at young girls , and i don't think they would like bloodthirsty gore like older males

01[17:07] Well you liked some young adults books we read
[17:07] it is good you can tell who it is aimed at - it is like the author is a young girl

01[17:07] I think so too
[17:07] well those young adult books didn't seem so young to me :)

01[17:08] there is nothing bad with having teenage girls as a target group they do read a lot of books
[17:08] only if you are an older male :)

01[17:09] Yes I get it and I agree it is for a younger audience
[17:09] maybe young girls like more of the talky bit and less of the action bits

[17:09] so i cant critisice that way

[17:10] criticise - im having a bad spelling day :)

01[17:10] That can be I think it depends on what they like to read there is probably something for everyone
01[17:11] But I still think this could have interest for adults too
01[17:11] insert some more action and make the story simpler
[17:11] maybe , but it is too long developing for me

[17:11] yes - more action :0

01[17:12] less history lessons and more practice/ dragon fights maybe
[17:12] yes :)

[17:12] and there was a fair bit spent about elaina learning latin - and so far she hasn't learn any :)

01[17:13] some of it does tell a story about how Blake is or have become
[17:13] yes , we do learn a little more each 100 pages :)

01[17:13] john> I think it shows her point about he is turning evil but is not yet
[17:13] and lucien has to be his 'dent'

[17:14] i think elaina will claim blake though

01[17:14] Yes I do too
01[17:15] but I am a little unsure because I think it was in the story that the person claiming the rubicon was destined to be his lover
[17:15] see? - there is enough of a story to keep adults a bit interested at least :)

01[17:15] so that means Lucian is being pushed out is she claims Blake, oh what drama that would be
[17:15] well elaina does like the look of blake , and lucien may end up with that other sheila

01[17:16] Yes and I did like reading it more this week
01[17:16] the evil girl Arianna I think her name was
[17:16] yes - she may turn out to be nice ? :)

01[17:16] That could be
[17:17] i do hope there is more action in the last 1/3rd

01[17:18] Where did you stop reading?
[17:18] and i hope elaina actually tells people what she found - thats frustrating that she still hasnt

01[17:18] about the queen in her dreams?
[17:19] i forget - but was 66-67% on a chapter start - though i did skim the next page :)

[17:19] yes , about the queen and about the prophecy - that is even in the book so she can tell

01[17:21] I think keeping secrets is also a way to keep  the readers interest
01[17:22] it can work just as well as something thrilling happens, it can make readers keep turning the pages
[17:22] it is frustrating to the reader :)

[17:22] well i did skim ahead a little

01[17:23] Yes it can be
01[17:23]   but I think it is fine in the story
[17:23] that's a thing with practice fighting too - you cant practice death blows

01[17:23] no that would be fatal
[17:23] there are more with an axe :)

[17:24] so it is hard to practice for the real thing

01[17:24] Yes I did think that too it would be very dangerous
[17:24] there are many forms of axe fighting - nearly as many as swords - well maybe a bit under half :)

01[17:25] but I also think she wrote that earlier in the story that the outside world wouldn't understand they uses sharp weapons or something like that
01[17:25] Yes you know you tried it
[17:25] i don't know why - sharp or blunt weapons of all types been used through the ages

[17:26] as a male i tried the heavier axes too

[17:26] i want very good at :0

01[17:27] You were better at the sword fighting?
[17:27] yes

[17:27] the bastard :)

01[17:27] the bastard sword you told me about :)
[17:27] slightly larger than a one handed

01[17:28] what was it again a two handed weapon?
[17:28] both - that's why it is called a bastard :0

01[17:28] That's cool
[17:28] it is a heavier one handed , or a dextrous two handed

01[17:29] were you well enough protected to not get hurt during the trainings?
[17:30] i have also tried the rapier and its ilk , but they seem effeminate and shitty to me - you cant slice with a rapier

[17:30] ummm , yes , well... :)

[17:30] there were always bruises :)

[17:30] and in training certain blows wernt allowed

[17:31] it is hard to train in killing blows to your partner when he dies if you do it :)

01[17:31] yes it sure is
[17:31] and dummies don't fight back

01[17:32] better practice that on them then, so you don't have to replace your training partners all the time
[17:32] the swords i used in combat went sharp

[17:33] same as axes - but in axe fights you could get broken bones

01[17:33] Yes I can imagine that
[17:33] and then there are the maces :)

[17:33] they are meant to break bones :)

[17:34] extra padding for maces and axes :)

01[17:34] lol I didn't know you used maces in training
[17:34mike> the general rule was with those - all blows above the knee and below the neck

01[17:34] or was even allowed to
[17:35] with swords could bash a blokes head , but not neck

[17:35] maces and axes couldn't target heads

[17:36] i don't like maces , but i feared the axe

01[17:36] Yes I can understand that
[17:36] so i forced myself to learn a bit about

01[17:36] it got some heavy power
[17:36] axes are meant to do horrific wounds

[17:37] the easiest axe blow is the one on the shoulder

[17:38] it is harder to aim for legs and middle , but easier to bring straight down on a shoulder

 [17:39] of course you cant usually do big swings if the enemy has a sword - he will skewer you :)

 [17:40] you want them to just slice - or crush as well

[17:41] you may get away with a large axe - long handled - if you keep arcing and the reach is longer than the other blokes sword

[17:41] reach - that's where a pike comes in :)

[17:41] that has the longest reach of all :)

01[17:42] Yes I remember those
[17:42] but if somebody comes within that reach you are probably dead

[17:43] my fav weapon would probably be a pulse laser

01[17:44] I don't know that weapon
[17:44] though i think all lasers today are pulse :)

[17:44] it sure beats a continuous laser

[17:44] all the power that takes

5 Apr 2012

APRIL REVIEW - DEADLY OBSESSION by KRISTINE CAYNE

A couple of weeks ago, Kristine asked a couple of people to read Deadly Obsessions and give her our honest opinion.
My opinions are always honest and I have to say well done to this author. She is self published and to be honest I don't understand why she doesn't have an agent.
This story has gripped me immediately and the funny part is, its not usually the kind of story I will pick to take home. The way her characters are developed gets a full A+. Her description on senses and emotions are to the t as well and I will recommend this story to anyone I know.
Deadly Obsessions reminds me a lot about Steven King's Misery. Its the same scary type of stalking but without the physical abuse. Kristine is a really good story teller and she hooked me from the very first page, the latter not easily done.
How ever with the good comes the bad.
Although I really did enjoy this story, I find that there was way too many bed room scenes, which might frustrate a couple of readers, but in the same breath I have to say, her sex scenes were executed perfectly.
The other thing that I found disappointed was that I already knew who the stalker was by chapter Five. I did wish by some miracle she would twist things around and end up prove me wrong but at the end felt that he story was a bit predictable. If it was the other way around, she would had a best best seller.
Don't get me wrong though.
I do love this story and can even see it as a forth coming on the big screen. Just felt that it lack a couple of things, but that is only my opinion.
Will read another story written by her anytime and feel that one day we will see one of her books on the big screen.
Well done Kristine and keep up the good work.

Your newest fan.
Isabella W.

29 Mar 2012

Another positive review.

So I have asked a couple of people to read my latest draft to the Dragon Glider and give me their honest opinion.
This one is from Cloey. Besides my grammar it was a pretty good review and hope that I will be able to find more reviews like the one she gave me. It pin point to things and chapters in my novel I need to change and is more or less on the same page and John and Mike.
Here is what she wrote:

I really loved your book. You are a very good story teller and this book is a good start but also has the potential of being a great start to your series. You did a good job writing for your market too - bravo.
Now a little about me, when I read I like to keep an open mind and allow the author along with my imagination to guide me through the story. I don't try to figure out the plot until it is necessary nor do I jump forward to see what's going to happen. With that said, I allowed you to bring me into your story world, get to know the characters, and come along with them as they lived through the story. I find that while reading from this point of view it allows me to get past grammatical and sentence structural issues so that I may enjoy the story.
The area that gave me the most problem was the beginning because I had to re-read it several times before I understood where your where going with the story – you may want to take another look at it. I could not figure out who was talking I assume it was one of the children but hopefully not Elaina because then I may have an issue with the time line – LOL. You did an excellent job developing the characters but I think that maybe you should spend some time on Elaina. I still do not know her and find it difficult believing in her. Maybe tell us a bit about her life in the orphanage or her last school on the other side of the wall? I also would like to know more about the story world maybe just teach us a little more about it? I noticed that in most series first novels there is a lot of investment in character and world building - just something to think about - especially if you are going for epic. I think that you may have spent a large amount of time on the day to day life in the school - maybe cut it a bit short and add more action in other areas of the book. Maybe when giving us some background information on Elaina give us some action to keep us motivated for more while letting us get to know her personality. The story flowed well and your scene transition is very good - the story was easy to follow. overall you are a very good writer and did a good job with your story. I would like to read your polished version before it goes public to see the changes made by your editor and to also write a review if you like.


I will definitely ask her to review my published copy which will hopefully be soon.

Thank you Cloey and can't wait for the reviews to be done so that I can revise.

27 Mar 2012

What a Review/Critique should look like

I have asked a couple of people to read The Dragon Glider and give me their honest opinion so that I may know where I have to make changes. Most of them kept hammering me on my grammar and I know that my grammar suck, which is not very helpful at this moment. I need to know what they think of my storytelling skills and was blessed when John send me his and Mikes discussion they had over my book.



Hi Isa
I have a friend from Australia that I read and discuss books with, right now we are reading your manuscript, we had a discussion about the first 33% of it this weekend, we are reading 33% per week of your manuscript and discussing it when we meet on a private chat in the weekends. I have been thinking about how to tell you what I think about it and I thought maybe it is better just to let you see our discussion about it, f
rom the message you sent me on Goodreads it seems like you are eager to get some feedback now, so instead of waiting until I finish reading it, I will let you see our discussion about the first 33% of the book and then decide for yourself if you can use any of it to improve it, you wanted an honest opinion and I dont think you can get anything more honest than reading our discussion, I hope you dont think it is a cruel way to let you know what we think about your book.I think our ages might be a good thing to take into consideration too, I am 30 years old and Mike is 55, but he is cool we have read young adult books together before and he likes them, books like The Hunger Games, Clockwork Angel and Graceling, so he does have some knowledge about young adult books, I think I also mentioned it before but he really likes to read about dragons, so I think he is more experienced about dragon books than I am.
01[16:22] did you like the dragon glider manuscript?
[16:23] ummm its okay , but not aimed at me as a target reader :)
01[16:23] it is too young adult?
[16:24] i think the target audience is young teenage girls :)
[16:25] some of the english didnt make sense too , but i gathered overall what the autor was saying
[16:26] it is a lot younger adult than hunger games i think - so far anyway
[16:26] but then i didnt really think hunger games was appropriate young adult :)
01[16:27] there was some shopping and girls giggling about boys and other stuff 
[16:27] yes - thats what makes me think it is targetted for young girls :)
[16:27] so far it is a little boring to me - not being a young girl :)
 
01[16:28] I also agree that it is more young adult than The hunger games so far01[16:28] I did think that some of it reminded me of Harry Potter
[16:28] Mike> you mean young people and magic ?
[16:29] well different science anyway :)
01[16:29] they were also at a school learning magic
[16:29] ahhh , yes :)
01[16:30] John> the name of the shield reminded me also of Harry Potters broom
01[16:30] it got some name too
[16:30] the samurai 2000 ? :)
01[16:30] yes :)
[16:31] im amazed i remembered that - there were so many details introduced
01[16:31] so a harry potter with dragons for girls
[16:31] that seems to be
[16:31] and so many dragon types - not to mention gliders :)
01[16:32] Yes I think for me there is too many types actually, I think it was better if it was a little more simpel 
01[16:32] is there anything that you think needs improvement?
[16:32] i did hguess the second riddle before i read it :)
[16:33] what needs feeding but drink kills
[16:33] but then i thought of alcohol :)
01[16:33] hehe thats funny
[16:35] but the major way the book needs improving is its translation to english
[16:36] i thought it was written pretty well - in description and ideas , though maybe too many ideas at once
01[16:37] yes you are right, but she did write to me again that she knows she need a good editor so it was not that we should look at that she was already working on it
[16:37] the descriptions could have been an older audience , but i think the ideas for younger
01[16:37] I think there is too much information, what do you think about that?
[16:38] yes , a bit too much for me
[16:38] maybe younger people can handle it though
01[16:39] I thought at the point after george scared alaina and Becky and alaina talked in the room I found all the information too much 
[16:39] and too much of just plain dinner menus
[16:40] but shopping and malls clinched it for me - it was aimed at young girls :)
[16:40] plus the talk and thinking of boys :)
01[16:41] lol yes
01[16:41] what about the riddles did you think that did justify all the talk about dinner menus?
[16:41] i think the 33% was right for me - i kind of cant get into the story yet
[16:41] there was too much talk of eating :)
[16:41] for me anyway :)
[16:42] im trying to remain skinny , but failing :)
01[16:42] hehe
01[16:42] is there more that bothered you about the book?
[16:45] descriptions everywhere with the ideas
[16:46] but so far 1/3 into the book not a lot has happened
[16:46] well the english translation isnt that good , so i imagine what it would be like in the authors language
[16:47] the ideas translate , but the grammer often doesnt
01[16:47] I think her main language is english
[16:47] so instead of me reading fluidly , sometimes i am stumped as to what something might mean
[16:48] i figured out most , but one idea/word that i dont know i couldnt figure out
01[16:48] what was that?
[16:49] of course i forget it :)
01[16:49] oh thats too bad
[16:49] careen or campleen or something like
[16:50] it might be a suid afrika thing :)
01[16:50] that might be
[16:55] sometimes the english was out of order too - like some words in front that should have been behind - thats why i thought author couldnt have been english
[16:57] i think its a good book so far for young girls
01[16:57] yes I like it too
[16:57] well my english isnt perfect either :)
01[16:57] a bit boring at some points like you said, I think it is because the way the univers is being built up for the reader, it is being built up mainly by dialogue
01[16:57] I thought the end of what we read for today was actually really good, the end of chapter 8 that is
01[16:58] about becky getting hit by lightning and all that
01[16:58] very thrilling
[16:58] and was she ? - or was it just the ascension ?
[17:00] she found her power was electricity ?
[17:00] so maybe the lighning was her rise
[17:01] lightning
01[17:01] oh thats interesting I didnt think about that
01[17:01] but she really didnt like that she now has to claim George
[17:02] but everyone else envied her :)
01[17:02] he was good looking but she cant stand him
[17:03] he played that prank on elaina
01[17:04] I think it might stick further that that
01[17:04] *than that
[17:04] he is a blue dragon
01[17:05] where did you end reading?
[17:05] but he was put up to it by that other bloke
[17:05] at i think chap 9 - preparation
01[17:06] so the last you read was Becky crying that the only one she could claim was George?
[17:06] i would have read a bit more if there was more about the oracle - but that was over quick
[17:06] well a little after someone said there was another boy , and she smiled at that :)
[17:07] geee - all those girls are boy crazy , and at that age i thought it was the boys that were girl crazy :)
[17:07] and boys dont really grow up :)
01[17:08] I think they are 16 year olds
[17:09] or maybe a little younger
[17:09] the girls anyway - they seem it :)
01[17:10] it was mentioned
[17:10] oh :)
01[17:11] Elaina is 15
01[17:11] "Lovers" Becky chants and I manage to blush scarlet red in between all this craziness. They both gasp. "Elaina, are you still a virgin?"
01[17:11]   "I am only fifteen, what do you think" and both girls look around nervously.
[17:12] that impies the others arnt ?
01[17:12] yes that they arent virgins
[17:13] o dear , the girls of dragonia :)
01[17:14] do you want to continue reading it?
[17:14] i havent had or wouldnt like a virgin
[17:14] the responsibility of making it extra good first time
01[17:14] good thing you are not a sun blast then
[17:15] no :) , and yes i would like to read more
[17:15] but then again , if i were a sun blast i wouldnt care about the girl
01[17:16] do we read to 66% for next week?
[17:16] yes , that seems about right for me
01[17:17] do you have some more things you think that are good about the book?
[17:18] just the ideas and the descriptive nature - i can tell by the writing the target audience - it isnt haphazard
[17:19] haphazard means all over the place - random even
01[17:19] 
I do like the whole set up around the fantasy univers, and I agree there are a lot of good and interesting ideas01[17:19] well we might see more later on in the novel
[17:20] more what ?
01[17:20] more good things :)
01[17:21] it might be a slow starter I mean
[17:21] oh - well so far the main protagonist has been that blue dragon at the start
01[17:22] I find the things going on with Becky when we ended our reading for this week more interesting
[17:22] when the lightning happened i thought it may be an attack , but wasnt
[17:23] and the oracle was a lt down
[17:23] let down
01[17:23] I think there is a lot of talk in this novel
01[17:23] dialogue
[17:24] yes - a bit boring to me , but may be what young girls like
[17:24] well shopping and clothes i know girls of all ages like :)
01[17:24] yes :)
01[17:25] I think this is a YA fantasy chick lit
[17:25] probably talking of boys too :)
[17:29] also i can pick a flaw in the grammer that is common even amongst english speaking peoples :)
[17:30] it's is not possessive
[17:30] it's is short for it is
[17:30] its is the possessive in english
[17:30] funny old english :)
01[17:31] compared to some indie books,  I have read I actually think this is one of the better


So that was what they thought about my novel so far. Some would think it's mean but it is exactly what I needed to know where I stand with my novel.
I can't wait for next week to find out what John and Mike thinks about the second part of my novel and hopefully I can get something out of it as well.
Authors should not be scared of negative critique. They are the best kind to turn your novel from average to best seller.
Thank you again for your input John and Mike and look forward till next week, for the rest of you have an awesome day till next time.

IW